Before You React: Practice the Pause

The last few months have been an intense period of growth for me and I know I’m not alone. I see this with my friends and clients as well. So much has been happening all at once that is really giving us x-ray vision into anything within us that has yet to be processed and integrated.

Something that has proven to be very valuable while navigating the intense ups and downs of various relationship challenges and triggers has been my ability to practice pausing before bringing whatever is concerning me to the person/people involved.

There have been moments where I am pretty certain that I need to have an in-depth conversation outlining the impact of someone’s actions and hold them accountable. There have also been moments when I have a total shift in perception and feel like I am okay processing things on my own or with trusted people and that feels like the most loving action. 

Taking the time and space to genuinely reflect on a situation and determining what it is here to teach us as well as how to navigate it is part of learning to relate to others in a more conscious (rather than reactive) manner. 

A Course In Miracles says “the ego speaks first and the ego speaks loudest” which is absolutely the case. The ego is another term for our inner child and the inner child will be the first to react and speak up about any injustice or upset and it’s just trying to get its needs met. The problem then is we have a child running the show – which rarely goes well. 

What we want to practice instead is listening to the “still small voice” within which will be accessible only when we are regulated – this voice guides us to navigate situations with grace and love.

To practice the pause we need to develop the ability to self-regulate and also sit with our own discomfort and become the observer of our thoughts and emotions rather than reacting from that space. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s a game-changer for the health of our relationships.

If you need some support learning to practice the pause, I got you! Book your consult here and let’s connect.

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