Ever since I was a little kid I created ideas in my head of exactly how I thought things should go. I think it was my attempt to gain control in an environment that felt out of control.
The only problem was things often didn’t go the way I wanted them to which would make me more upset. This pattern was carried into my adult life and relationships and it created quite a rollercoaster.
This was compounded by society’s expectations of where I should be by a certain age in terms of kids/relationship/career etc. I have always done everything later than society’s timeline while simultaneously feeling like I am behind or something is wrong – which doesn’t feel good!
There is this cookie cutter framework that was created like a one-size fits all version of the check-boxes of life and I have seen people scramble to check said boxes only to end up miserable. I have also seen people who haven’t checked some of them yet and feel like when they do they will finally feel better/happier/more fulfilled.
So what does that tell us? It tells us there is no formula for happiness and peace.
We are constantly being bombarded by programming that tells us we are not enough in some way, shape or form and that something outside of us exists that will be the key to our happiness. It’s a never-ending search to fill a void that can never be filled by anything external.
It’s beautiful to have desires and experience them being realized. It’s also really helpful to recognize that we cannot see the entire trajectory of our lives – so that thing that we think we want – we actually have no idea how it will go if it plays out.
I went to a lecture once and the speaker was talking about this and she said “you can allow the same force that causes the planets to revolve around the sun, and acorns to turn into oak trees, and embryos to turn into babies to operate in YOUR life OR you can try to do it yourself.”
If you want a strategy this is the best one I have found so far: get clear on what you want. Envision it. Energize it. Feel the feelings of what it would be like to have it – right here, right now. Then surrender and let it go. Over and over again if you have to and lean into TRUST.
Remember the “how” is not up to us and our intentions are powerful.
Surrender into that benevolent force that is operating in all of our lives and trust that the Spirit/God/Universe knows your desires and also knows the exact perfect way for them to unfold. Practice following what flows versus pushing against what IS.