How To Get Everything You Want in Relationships

We are taught to seek what we want by going out in the world and finding it. There is so much societal programming that supports the belief that something or someone outside of us is going to hold the magic key to our peace and happiness. 

The key to getting what we want in relationships is to get really clear on the qualities that you want in a partner. If you get stuck on this, think about things that don’t work for you and flip it to what DOES work for you. For example, if you have a need to feel heard, you want to call in someone who is a good listener.

Think about past relationships and current relationships and the qualities that are most important to you. Think about your friendships and other relationships and the qualities that they have that you love. You will be able to keep adding to and refining your list of qualities as you move through life and have more experiences. Let life show you what works for you (and what doesn’t). This is a good practice of tuning in with yourself and what your needs actually are. 

Once you have your list of qualities practice EMBODYING them yourself. Right here, right now. If you want someone who is a good listener, are you showing up as a good listener? If you want someone who makes you a priority, are you making yourself a priority? 

We need to show up as what we seek FIRST in order to energetically invite someone to join us there. I tell all my clients: you need to treat yourself in the way you wish to be treated by your partner FIRST. Love yourself, show up for yourself, speak up for yourself. Seems backwards, but it is the way it works. We also won’t settle for anything less once we get used to being treated this way by OURSELVES! Anyone who doesn’t meet us there won’t be attractive to us. 

Ask yourself: “Who do I want to BE in the world?” Whether you are in a relationship currently or desiring to call in your partner you need to get CLEAR and begin embodying the qualities that you wish to create (and may or may not be lacking) in order to create an energetic invitation for your partner (or future partner) to do the same.

Remember that we get what we give. What we put out in the universe comes back to us, like an echo. Embodying the energy of love and being loving to everyone and everything will bring love into your life in completely miraculous ways. Try it and I’d love to hear how it goes!

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