I was at a couple’s retreat a couple of weeks ago and one of the facilitators Bobby Rometo shared this gold nugget of wisdom. “How we speak about our relationship becomes our relationship” – mic drop.

I realized how true this is when I thought about my last relationship and how I spent the last few months lamenting about the conflicts we were having to my friends and spending a large amount of time judging the entire dynamic – and lo and behold that energy of discord took over and we broke up. 

Our words are powerful and they hold energy. We speak things into existence. This is why it’s so important to be very mindful of what we speak (there’s a reason it’s called “spell-ing”). I want to preface that it is important not to sweep issues under the rug because that creates more problems, however being mindful of who you share with will end up serving the relationship. 

My mentors and coaches Santo and Kelly Castro of Conscious Partnership Coaching stress the importance of having a few trusted people to turn to when we experience challenges in our partnership, rather than shouting it from the rooftops to everyone. You may want to consider not seeking guidance from anyone who isn’t in the type of partnership you desire for yourself. 

Even when speaking about challenges to trusted people/therapists/coaches make sure to talk about what you desire to create. When you know what you don’t want, you know what you DO want. Contrast in any form helps us to clarify our vision. 

What we focus on expands. The energy that our thoughts create impact our reality and our relationships. What are you speaking into existence right now? If there is an issue in your relationship, are you speaking into the energy of expansion and growth or contraction? 

Will you join me in choosing to focus on what you wish to create and practice speaking it into existence? 

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