Clients often ask me why their partner (or their parent, or their friend) didn’t respond to them with love and compassion. Why didn’t they create space for them to feel seen, heard, and loved?
My response is always: “People can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves”. Read that again.
Think about it. If you cry and someone is uncomfortable, what does that mean? It likely means they are not comfortable with their own emotions, so they are unable to hold space for yours.
If someone has done their own inner work and has compassion for their own experience, they will be more likely to have compassion for you in your experience.
We are all mirrors for each other, and some people are not ready to see what you are reflecting back to them. We bless them on their journey and recognize it is not personal.
This is some of the most confronting work, recognizing that whatever is coming up for us is a mirror for our own belief system and the dynamic with the other person is merely shining a light on what we have within us that is ready to be processed and healed.
However it is important work because if we don’t have this awareness, we will continue to be at the effect of our limiting beliefs, creating circumstances that play them out over and over again.
My life improved exponentially when I started taking responsibility for my circumstances and changed my own thinking. New beliefs = new wiring in the brain = new experiences.
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