We have been trained in a society that encourages us to work harder, produce, get it done, and burn ourselves out to get the outcome and results that we want. This can work to a certain extent in some areas of life – but it really doesn’t support us with dating.
Understanding that there is a dance between masculine and feminine energies can really support us in creating healthier, more fulfilling dynamics in dating and relationships.
We all have both masculine and feminine energies within us and being mindful of what they are and working on creating a balance between the two within ourselves first can help us to create more aligned relationships with others.
Many women are predominantly existing in their masculine energy that has them wanting to take the lead and pursue and basically control outcomes. Masculine energy looks like taking initiative, planning and being decisive and is more logic-based, action-oriented, and assertive with a specific outcome in mind. When we approach dating from this energy we actually dominate the experience and will attract men who are more in their feminine energy which looks like aligning with your intuition and allowing it to guide, self-reflection, receiving and being pursued. The same is true for men if men are more in their feminine energy they will attract a woman more in her masculine.
For many years I was operating almost completely in my masculine energy in dating and in every other area of my life. I would pursue and chase men and it would work for a while and then they would lose interest and I was left thinking that something was wrong with me. Once I started to learn about the energies (and the dynamic between them) that is when things started to shift for me and I started attracting men who wanted relationships.
I saw over and over again that working “harder” and pursuing in dating wasn’t necessarily going to create the outcome I wanted and instead leaning back and putting the focus back on loving and honoring myself and allowing and receiving created SPACE for men to come toward me. How would they come toward me when I was always chasing them?
Now, years later I have learned the art of leaning back. Leaning back is not a game or a manipulation tactic, it is simply just coming back to your own center and creating some space for the man to come toward you. If some space is created and he comes toward you then he is stepping into the role of the leader which creates a feeling of deep safety for women. If a man isn’t sure what he wants and is back and forth and all over the place – it is impossible for us to feel safe.
Leaning back will give you an indication of a man’s level of interest and also his ability to step into his masculine energy all of which is vitally important if you want to create polarity which is what is behind physical attraction. If one or both of you has an imbalance in your energies the chemistry and level of attraction will be off.
Women, this is an invitation to lean back and see what flows in your life when you do that. Men this is an invitation to get clear with what you want and show up with clarity and take action. This works for dating and also long-term relationships where the dynamic may be off balance.
If you need additional support understanding and applying these concepts to create more fulfillment in your relationship dynamics – click this link and let’s connect.