This has been a major topic in my life the past few months after my breakup. You know that time in-between what was and what will be? If you’re anything like me, you have a hard time letting go. It can be so challenging not to buy into the spiraling obsessive thoughts and wonder if it is, in fact, true that things are working out for my highest good, or if this is just some cruel cosmic joke. Breakups have a really good way of activating our past wounds/old stories.
Since there isn’t much we can control in life, let’s talk about what we can control. We can choose a different perspective of this “in-between” time. We can choose to believe that things are always working out FOR us, and so if this is the way things are unfolding it HAS to mean that something better is coming. So what do we do in the meantime?
We can ALLOW ourselves to feel our emotions (without bypassing them!) and have compassion and love for our own experience. Breakups are hard. Loss is painful. Allowing ourselves time to grieve and process and just “let it feel shitty for a while” (as one of my friends said to me) is something that is very important so that we don’t push our emotions down and create other problems as a result.
Take it day by day and practice TRUSTING. If you notice your thoughts going in the worst case scenario direction, just observe them and (when you are able to) choose again. I like to say “okay universe…if this is how you are orchestrating things for me, then show me the way”. The very act of making that statement will cause your mind to look for evidence to shift your perspective.
Take an INVENTORY of what is coming up for you during this time because it is a window into aspects of yourself that are right on the surface and it is an opportunity to heal from past experiences on a deeper level.
Get SUPPORT in whatever form feels best for you: hire a coach, work with a therapist, take a course and surround yourself with people who love you. It is really important to acknowledge when support is needed and trust ourselves to do what it takes to provide that for ourselves. Also, everyone is going to have advice – take what works for you and leave the rest, knowing that everyone is projecting based on their own life experiences.
Life is full of ups and downs and it really is our greatest teacher. Nothing lasts forever, which is reassuring and scary at the same time depending if you are in an “up” or a “down” time. I support many people through transitional times in their lives and really milking times like this for all they are worth and really using them as opportunities to shift patterns permanently! If you are curious to learn more I would love to connect with you!
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