The way we relate to other people and to all of life is based on the internal landscape of our own minds. As within, so without.
We learn our framework for how to relate based on what we experienced in our homes as children and often we subconsciously recreate similar dynamics in our lives as adults.
We are so brilliant that we developed various coping mechanisms in an attempt to get our needs met as children.
Some of these relational patterns serve us as adults and some do not.
Getting really honest with yourself, what are the repeating patterns and themes you see life reflecting back to you over and again.
Some common adaptive patterns that are often transferred from relationship to relationship:
Lack of boundaries: becoming sexually or emotionally attached to people without really knowing them
Fear of abandonment or loneliness: staying in and/or returning to painful relationship dynamics
Confusing love with rescuing or the need to be rescued
Feeling empty and incomplete when alone
Assigning fantasies to others and idealizing them/putting them on a pedestal
Expecting others to read our minds without communicating our needs and desires
Losing ourselves in a romantic connection
Getting “hits” off of interactions or compulsively seeking validation
If any of these (or all of them) show up in your life – it does not mean you are bad or wrong. It just means that these are the ways you have learned to relate to others in order to attempt to get your needs met.
When we get to the core of where these adaptive patterns came from in the first place we can heal at the root and we will no longer need to operate from that wound.
Awareness, healing, new perspectives and experience are all available to us which will create new relational experiences with others.
If you see yourself repeating these patterns and are committed to creating a new experience I can help. Book your consult here: