We have been programmed to believe that there is someone out there who will “complete” us and that until we find that one special person, we are incomplete.
We are made up of energy and our energetic field attracts or repels things to us depending on our resonance. This is why there are sayings like “when it rains, it pours” because whatever vibrational field we are existing in will attract more of the same to it.
Clients often ask me why their partner (or their parent, or their friend) didn’t respond to them with love and compassion. Why didn’t they create space for them to feel seen, heard, and loved?
Perfectionism is a trauma response that is born when we were not allowed to make mistakes or judged harshly as children. Our subconscious mind imprints the belief that “I have to be perfect to be loved” and we project that impossible idea onto ourselves (and others but we’ll get to that in a bit).