We experience the world through the lens of our individual belief system which is formed based on our past experiences. No two people will experience something the exact same way. Our individual mental filter creates our interpretation of what is happening between us and other people.
Today I had a session with my coach Jenn and I was going over how my last relationship ended and my confusion over the different versions of the person I had experienced. I was stuck on the question of did he ever love me? Was any of it even real? Was the version of himself that he showed me in the beginning authentic? Or was it a manipulation? I wanted to crack the code!
Between the ages of 0-7 we decide our core beliefs about the world based on our experiences. The most impactful experiences cause us to create beliefs that are then imprinted into our subconscious mind and we project them out onto the world and they are mirrored back to us (like a movie screen). For example if we have a belief that “love is hard” we will find evidence to prove ourselves right and if we believe “love is everywhere” we will find evidence to prove that belief right.
I often get asked: “How does relationship coaching work?” “Do I need to be in a romantic relationship to work with you?” and the answer is no. The deeper answer to this question is that ALL OF LIFE IS A RELATIONSHIP – we are all in relationship to other people, to money, to our health and most importantly we are in relationship with OURSELVES. We are always in relationship.