We are energetic beings and we hold emotional energy from past experiences in our physical bodies. Many of us were not taught that it is okay and actually HEALTHY to feel our emotions. As a result many of us learned to suppress them and push them down in order to be loved or accepted.
There is one thing that I see consistently when supporting individuals and couples in healing their relationship dynamics and that is that we subconsciously choose the very partner who will shine a light on whatever within us needs some attention, healing and integration.
We have been programmed to believe that there is someone out there who will “complete” us and that until we find that one special person, we are incomplete. The dating game becomes a quest for that one special person who will finally rescue us by making us whole and then we can relax because subsequently all of our problems will be solved.
Being a human on the planet means that we all have varying degrees of baggage that impact us and our relationships on a day to day basis. We have two choices: we can keep carrying our baggage around without looking inside and let it continue to impact our lives on an unconscious level OR we can unpack it and have a chance to be liberated from it.
Do you feel like the importance you place on a romantic partnership far outweighs all other areas of your life? Do you feel like if you don’t have a romantic partner then life is pretty meaningless? You’re not alone. I felt like this for so many years and to be honest I can sometimes still fall into this way of thinking. It has always been a dream of mine to build a life with a partner and there’s nothing wrong with that, but when I was hyper-focused on it, it did not help and probably drove it away even more.