Posts Taggedinnerchildwork

Do you wish people, places and things were different from what they are? Here’s how to free yourself. 

If only THEY would X (insert whatever we want them to do here) then I could be okay – does this sound familiar The formula for misery is wishing people, places and things were different than what they are. If I have learned anything in the last very intense 3 years it is that people are human and that as humans we are all subject to human frailty and therefore fallible.

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The Blame Game & the Heavy Price We Pay for Playing it

We pay a heavy price for not taking 100% responsibility for our part in a dynamic – and the price is that we can’t change it. Pointing the finger at someone will lead them to point the finger back at you and then you are at a standstill. It is never all one person’s fault. Even if the other person is 90% responsible for their part, we are still 10% responsible for our part.

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The Hot and Cold Dynamic and Why It’s Addictive

Intermittent reinforcement (aka hot and cold) is the STRONGEST type of reinforcement. There have been studies done with rats to demonstrate its addictive nature. Two different groups of rats in cages had a lever to press which produced food pellets. In the first group every time they pressed the lever a pellet came out – these rats were fine and just learned to press the lever when they were hungry. The second group of rats the pellets came out intermittently and the rats ended up pressing the lever on repeat until they died. Until they DIED guys! That’s how strong intermittent reinforcement is.

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