We have been programmed to believe that there is someone out there who will “complete” us and that until we find that one special person, we are incomplete.
Perfectionism is a trauma response that is born when we were not allowed to make mistakes or judged harshly as children. Our subconscious mind imprints the belief that “I have to be perfect to be loved” and we project that impossible idea onto ourselves (and others but we’ll get to that in a bit).
When there are challenges in a relationship they often don’t fall under the category of being rational or logical. If we are waiting for them to make sense like a math equation – we will continue to be perplexed and a way through them will elude us.
How many of you have found yourself trying to give from an empty cup? That’s been showing up for me again in new ways lately. I am moving through some of the deepest layers of my own healing and subconscious programming and it has taken me out a few times to be totally honest.