We have been trained in a society that encourages us to work harder, produce, get it done, and burn ourselves out to get the outcome and results that we want. This can work to a certain extent in some areas of life – but it really doesn’t support us with dating.
What does it mean to surrender an outcome? Do you think that surrendering means you have to give up on what you want? The energy of pushing or forcing or controlling outcomes only goes so far. There isn’t much that is truly within our control.
I went into my story about my past and my subconscious beliefs and why I tend to be drawn to things that aren’t always healthy for me despite all the inner work I have done and he listened…and then he said “Jess…your story doesn’t mean shit!”
We project our unhealed core wounding from childhood onto our romantic partners in an attempt to finally have the corrective experience that we crave. Whatever needs that were consistently left unmet in childhood created imprints in our subconscious that drive us to seek the fulfillment of those needs as adults.
The way we relate to other people and to all of life is based on the internal landscape of our own minds. As within, so without. We learn our framework for how to relate based on what we experienced in our homes as children and often we subconsciously recreate similar dynamics in our lives as adults.