Want Your Relationships To Improve? Put the Focus Back Onto You

One of the biggest issues I see in my work with individuals and couples with relational challenges is the tendency for us to focus on what the other person is doing/not doing. 

We need THEM to show up differently so that WE can be okay. We become hyper-focused on their issues which conveniently takes the focus off of our own part, which (spoiler alert) is the ONLY thing we can actually change or control – OUR PART!

If we want something to shift we need to put down the magnifying glass that is focusing on others and pick up the mirror. We need to be humble enough to recognize that we also have a part in whatever is showing up – even if their part is 95% of the equation – the ONLY part we can control is our 5%.

This is not to negate or minimize what is happening in the dynamic or what someone else is doing – it is to illuminate the fact that we cannot change anyone and our best hope of shifting any dynamic is to do the inner work and ask the question “what is this showing me about ME?”

This is the path to absolute miracles. 

I know how challenging it can be and how much our minds and our EGOs want to hold on to what THEY are doing/not doing and how that is our permission slip to staying stuck.

Just for a moment can we lay that down and be willing to look at our part? What is this dynamic showing me about me? What do I need to see, hear, learn in order to use this as a vehicle for my own growth and expansion so that I can become an energetic match to what I am seeking in relationship with others?

As we clear out any old beliefs, patterns and programs that are standing in the way of being in our hearts – everything will shift. 

Being brave enough to be open to getting out of fear, ego, stories, perceptions – all of which run through our own mental filters/biases keep us stuck in the surface level of the problem rather than the deeper truth which is that every relationship challenge is an OPPORTUNITY to be LIBERATED from past trauma and old conditioning. 

Relationships bring up everything that is hiding. What if nothing is wrong?

Learning the tools to navigate challenges, triggers, reactivity and come back to love over and over and over again creates the space for more love, connection and intimacy. 

I am here to support you in creating this kind of connection and love in your life. Book your consult here and let’s connect:


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