A couple of weeks ago I was at the beach with one of the sisters in my soul family, Martha. I was sharing with her that I am making a conscious effort to be mindful of who I share intimate details with regarding my relationship because I had been noticing that I was receiving some feedback that didn’t feel good to me. I have realized it is very important to hold the relationship sacred and be really mindful of who I share things with if breakdowns or challenges arise.
Remember that how we speak about the relationship becomes the relationship. We speak it into existence. We need to know ourselves so well that we are able to observe ourselves and our old patterns, beliefs and behaviors that show up AND have trusted people to turn to to help us navigate so that we don’t self-sabotage and create the very thing we are afraid of. Better to have a select few people who are well-versed in conscious-relating (and will lovingly call us out!) than to share with everyone in our lives who may or may not have healthy relationships themselves.
Martha agreed and then she invited me to add another layer to this. She asked me to consider that anytime I shared with someone that they are merely responding to the picture that I am painting of the situation. I am the one with the paintbrush. I had a lightbulb moment thinking back to all the times in the past when I had painted a picture based on the issues in the relationship out of frustration, which led people to respond accordingly, only energizing the problem.
I invite you to consider that you are the artist painting a picture and that anyone you share with is responding to the picture you are painting. Really ask yourself: is this picture I’m painting helping me learn, grow, and expand? Or am I painting a picture that is fear-based coming from my own ego-mind that is giving me some kind of pay off (being right, being the victim, getting attention, etc.). We really need to check ourselves so that we don’t stand in the way of creating the outcome of what we desire most.
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Sending you all so much love and I am here to support you in creating healthy relationship dynamics.