What is Trauma & How Does It Impact Our Relationships?

The word trauma holds a lot of charge. In a nutshell, trauma is an emotional response to a distressing event. We all have some version of trauma because we all have past experiences that impacted us by kicking us into a fight or flight response which then gets imprinted in the brain.

Our minds are so brilliant that they create associations based on past experience that we had that caused distress. If we detect a real or imagined threat, we will be triggered into a fight or flight survival response and operate from that place. This is what happens when we get into an argument with someone. Something happens to trigger us and our logical brain goes offline and we are operating in survival mode. We cannot reason from this place because we are focused on protecting ourselves from the threat. 

Have you ever been in an argument with someone and their demeanor changes and their usual personality has been replaced by getting super loud, running away, shutting down, or trying to overly accommodate (fight/flight/freeze/fawn)? This is a clear indication that someone has been triggered into a trauma response.

Without the knowledge to understand what is happening and the tools to navigate it and repair any subsequent damage we can actually create a dynamic where we are re-experiencing our trauma in a looping cycle because our body is holding onto energy from past experiences that wants to be released so we will pull in the very frequency that activates it to give it a change to leave the body. 

I don’t know about you but years ago I had no idea what was happening to me when I had reactions that were completely disproportionate to what was actually happening in front of me. It was really healing to learn that there was nothing “wrong with me” and that there was a reason for what was happening – it was a trauma response. 

Awareness is half the battle and then learning how to support ourselves and integrate the experience is where our freedom lies. Learning our specific triggers and the root of where they came from in the first place leads us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and gives us an opportunity to deeply heal.

We are wounded in relationships and we heal in relationships. Relationships are going to mirror to us anything within us that has yet to be healed/integrated. They are spiritual sandpaper rubbing up against anything that needs to be smoothed out. Giving ourselves a safe space with a trauma-informed practitioner is one of the most loving things we can do for ourselves to work this stuff out and create more connection, love, and intimacy in our relationships without our trauma running the show.

If you need some support with this, I invite you to book a consult call with me and let’s explore the options available to support you!

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